One of my favorite parts of being 'me' is literally.. being me.
I thought I made it pretty clear when I said that this blog would be a way of ME sharing MY experiences with hopes to fall in love with MYSELF all over again and for anyone that became inspired along the way.. it would be a plus.
So yes.. To me. By me. For me.
In other words.. THIS GLOW UP IS PERSONAL.
Got it?
I have no interest in pretending to be something or someone that I am not.. nor do I plan to address misery. Anyone that knows me IN REAL LIFE and not from just social media or from a few social meet-ups would know that I am very authentic and genuine in my posts.
When I'm passionate about something I tend to drown myself in it.. otherwise I won't bother at all.
2020 has been all kinds of f*cked up. I've lost friends to gun violence and accidents, had the most stressful semesters of my life and had to manage to find new ways to cope with my suffocating anxiety. I can't even begin to imagine what you've been dealing with love..
COVID came along and changed our life.. for most, it was for the worst. However, if I'm being honest.. I've actually started seeing the sunshine again.. I'm in a good place. I'm hoping that you are too.. or you're at least getting there..
Anyway, enough about me.. I missed you.
Get your cup sis.. it's tea time. You ready? Aht-Aht! Don't give me that face! I just had to ask!
Spoiler-personality-alert.. another one of my hidden treasures is that I second guess
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
Some days I am honestly my biggest bully. You too? Okay good.. well.. its not good but I'm just happy I'm not the only crazy one.
Have you ever taken a picture and stared at it sooo long that you started to hate things about yourself?
Like.. "no.. my head looks sooo big".. or "Is my makeup fixed or do I look like a ghost?".. then all of a sudden you hate every.single.picture? Yeah.. me too.
Okay go over girl.. give me some space..
So.. SERIOUSLY..
It's almost like we're looking for things to not like about ourselves.. not intentionally of course.. because I love me and you love you.. right?
Well, if I'm being honest.. I love myself until that outfit that I planned in my head doesn't look right in front of the mirror.. oh oh oh.. or the hairstyle I saw on my popular page just doesn't look the same on me..
Then instead of paying attention to everything so perfect about myself I'm stuck focusing on how the outfit would probably look better on someone else..
So then I'll message my friends and get their opinion on the picture that I already don't like.. Then there they go.. "yaaaasss" hearteye-hearteye-hearteye. It's almost like you guys are looking at two different pictures.. cause ma'am I just cant stop focusing on my awkward arm position..
Stop. Stop right there. Stop being your biggest hater.
You're THAT b*tch. You are TOP TIER.
You are flawless because.. well.. Beyonce' told you so.
POOH.
I hate that sometimes we compare ourself to what other people look like on social media when they probably don't even look like that in real life either..
I'm going to remind you again Ms.Hardhead..
SOCIAL MEDIA.. IS NOT REAL LIFE.
(I lowkey said this to remind myself too..)
Do you reaally think people are gonna log on to talk about how much they hate their nose or just the fact that they are sipping mimosas by their infinity pool on vacation in Jamaica? Yeah. Exactly miss mamas.
Remember.. people post what they want you to see.. and it might not always be the fact that they ALSO hate little parts of themselves.. just. like. you.
We're all human.. and truthfully there are going to be parts of ourselves that we don't really like as much as others.. but think about it.. if everybody got everything that they wanted whenever they wanted it.. would we ever be satisfied? honestly I wouldn't..
I would have appointments with Dr. Miami every other week..
Someone said "get thick season"?
Ok ok ok.. I'll stop..
My point is.. no one can ever be you! No one can ever compete with who you are! You don't have to hate on anybody other than the woman you were yesterday..
We don't have to continuously be our biggest enemy or beat ourselves up about the mistakes that we made.. and we definitely don't have to hate on another woman getting her sh*t together either.. We're all fighting our own silent battles..
Don't let this go over your head.. but you're not who you were last year or a month ago.. sh*t.. you're not even who you were five minutes ago..
You have permission to CHANGE. You have permission to view things differently than you use to.. or like things that you use to say you don't like..
You have permission to become a better version of yourself..
Who gives a f*ck who you use to be? Who you use to date? Who you use to be friends with?
Change is inevitable AKA its bound to happen!!
All that matters is who you are now.. and for God's sake.. I'm praying that it's someone better than who you use to be.
Anyway.. I'm not here to "preach".. cause I feel like I might've shaken a few tables and I'm not trying to step on any toes.. besides.. its only my third post out here.. HA!
You are so special! Your individuality is your power, use it!
Like I said before, I'm not perfect.. and it must be so exhausting pretending that you are.. I love me just the way I am. I love my growth and I love my f*ckups.
I don't have anything to prove to anyone.. this is for ME and the best revenge is doing everything they said I couldn't.. and kicking ass at it too.
Before I go sis.. this might be my last post this month.. because well.. my law classes are getting a bit jealous of all the attention I've been giving you girls..
Speaking of class.. I actually have an essay I should really be doing so if you're looking for a sign to complete that assignment.. THIS IS IT.
Ttyl love bugs!! Sending you all of my love!!
xoxtbugg